Wow, been a while since I posted, huh? Guess I should say something, huh?
I am indeed still alive and feeling better. Six months of antidepressants, frequent chats with Vinnie (my erstwhile antiques-dealer-and-therapist pal), and some serious changes at work have started me on the road to recovery, or at least the road towards Giving A Fuck Again. I've been getting the support I need to do my job well and properly, and I've generally been given the space I need to do the stuff I like doing. (I think I scared the shit out of Howie, my long-time boss, during my meltdown. I think he might be a little more willing to back off from me so I don't just quit Design Associates in a desk-flipping-and-burning blaze of glory.)
I've had a hard time coming up with anything to say here on WAD, and when I do think of something, I don't feel like writing it down. The biggest change in my life that I'm finding is a lack of my former energy and what I call sudden onset procrastination. Vinnie, however, has diagnosed it as "how everyone else feels all the goddamn time". I don't know if it's my late-thirties doing this to me, or if this is how I'm supposed to feel when I peel away the layers of depression and anxiety. Either way, I'm adjusting to a New Normal.
I'm still committed in some way to continuing to share with the world Why Architecture is Still Fucked Up and Needs to Fix Its Shit. Having been broken and chased into a black hole by my job and profession, I cannot stand by and watch it eat its young and itself. When I can, I'll muster up the energy to blog-n-bitch about what I see and what the profession's future can be. Word.
I am indeed still alive and feeling better. Six months of antidepressants, frequent chats with Vinnie (my erstwhile antiques-dealer-and-therapist pal), and some serious changes at work have started me on the road to recovery, or at least the road towards Giving A Fuck Again. I've been getting the support I need to do my job well and properly, and I've generally been given the space I need to do the stuff I like doing. (I think I scared the shit out of Howie, my long-time boss, during my meltdown. I think he might be a little more willing to back off from me so I don't just quit Design Associates in a desk-flipping-and-burning blaze of glory.)
I've had a hard time coming up with anything to say here on WAD, and when I do think of something, I don't feel like writing it down. The biggest change in my life that I'm finding is a lack of my former energy and what I call sudden onset procrastination. Vinnie, however, has diagnosed it as "how everyone else feels all the goddamn time". I don't know if it's my late-thirties doing this to me, or if this is how I'm supposed to feel when I peel away the layers of depression and anxiety. Either way, I'm adjusting to a New Normal.
I'm still committed in some way to continuing to share with the world Why Architecture is Still Fucked Up and Needs to Fix Its Shit. Having been broken and chased into a black hole by my job and profession, I cannot stand by and watch it eat its young and itself. When I can, I'll muster up the energy to blog-n-bitch about what I see and what the profession's future can be. Word.
6 comments:
So glad to see a post again - even if you don't have anything to say. :). After reading someone's blog for a while, you start to feel in an odd way as if they are a friend and you miss them when they stop posting. So, glad to hear from you.
Pixie!
Glad to see you post again. :-) It sounds like you are doing all the right things and working toward healing. Go, girl!
YAY - you're back!!
"word" 2 yur mother.... er...me.
Are you ever going to post again? I check on occasion to see if there is anything new. I enjoy reading your blog and catching up in some manner. Hope all is well with you and Guy.
STL Fan
Hi. I am glad you are feeling better. I just found this blog as I was looking for ADA compliance issue pictures...any way, I came back to see what you had to say. I've only read this latest post and I'm right there with you. im on month 4 of the drugs and two hardcore therapists...after nearly ruining my marriage (still a distinct possibility) over this profession. 26 years of doing this has left me in a hole so deep, I am only beginning to acknowledge there may be light above somewhere. Good luck to you. As I tell all young people who choose this as a profession - For God's sake do something else....
tom
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