Monday, December 19, 2011

Monday Visual Inspiration: Shopping with Mom at Thanksgiving

I know, I know--I'm busier than a cat covering crap on a terrazzo floor right now, but I had to post a few pics of being out with Mom at the local mall during the post-Thanksgiving shopping hullaballoo.

Me: Ooo, that's cool! Can you make that?
Mom: The fuck you mean "can I make tha"...of course I can make that. I just have to adjust a pattern I bought in 1985.
Me: Those are big words from a woman wearing a stocking cap that looks like cat ears.
Mom: Bite me. My head's cold.


Me: Yeah, well, can you make that?
Mom: Nah, it's a knit, and you can't sew a knit. You have to knit a knit.
Me: Can't really wear a bra with that dress, can you?
Mom: And it's a thin knit. So it's a knit for nitwits.


Mom: Now I can make the hell out of this.
Me: Ooo, wonder if we can find that fabric at the fabric store tomorrow!
Mom: If we do, Imma get my sew on.
Me: [looks around] That saleslady is looking at us funny.
Mom: Act like you're taking a picture of me but get the jacket in the picture. You buy me the taffeta and you can have this.


Me: Mommy, look! Formal shorts!
Mom: [sighs] Christ almighty. An abomination.
Me: I bet I could rock those formal shorts.
Mom: [looking at me as I snapped the photo] Your short ass should be so lucky.
Me: What? I have nice legs.
Mom: Yeah they're nice, but you have the inseam of a dachsund.
Me: [mock offended] Mommy! How could you say such a thing to your dear Pixie?!
Mom: Cuz I'm the mommy, that's how.

4 comments:

ms. kitty said...

Your mom is outrageous and I love her.

Scarlett said...

bwhahahahaha
"inseam of a doxie"

bwhahahahahah

Miss Kitty said...

HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!
BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHHAHAAA!!

Shopping with Mommy is always an EPIC WIN!

Word verification: "derivere." :-P

shenandoah bed and breakfast said...

Shopping with mom is always a great experience especially on Thanksgiving. What your mother suggest you to buy? Have you traveled with your mom on Holidays?