At the Cherry Creek Arts Festival with Mom

Mom:  You need this sculpture in your house.

Pixie:  To do what with?

Mom:  You could hang your keys on it, or put letters in it--

Pixie:  Like an odds-and-ends shelf?

Mom:  Hang off of it while you and Guy are getting it on, shit, I don't care! I'm just saying it would look great in your house!

Pixie:  No, I agree, it looks fantastic!

Mom:  And it's only $900! Chump change!

Pixie:  How fantastic is that purse?

Mom:  Oh my Gawd, it's got a little space underneath! You could fit a kitten through that space!

Pixie:  And there's a pocket in the bottom!

Mom:  That's where you hide your weed.

Pixie:  Mom, can you make that dress?

Mom:  Yeah, I think I have that pattern at home...but I wouldn't do the contrast zip.

Pixie:  Why not?

Mom:  Only trailer trash and Kardashians wear contrast zips in their dresses.

Pixie:  Baaahahahahaaaaaa!

Mom:  [walking away] That shit is cray.