Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The only people that look at ceilings are prostitutes and architects

In a previous post, I mentioned that architects look at the world differently. I finally found a good way to describe this phenomenon. Well, one example among many, really. I was in a recently remodeled Einstein's Bagels shop on the 16th Street Mall in downtown Denver. It had been a few months since I'd darkened the door of this particular Einstein's, as I don't get to this part of town often. I was thrilled to see that it had been renovated and looked much brighter.

The lights with shades on them over the tables were new, as was the track lighting and flat screen TV on the opposite wall. New paint, flooring, posters, and tables, chairs, and booths had been installed. But then, as only an architect can do, I looked up.

This ceiling tile is one of many that were dinged, scratched, and askew in the ceiling grid. You can touch up dinged ceiling tiles, I learned from a contractor, with a small brush and some white paint. It'd be easy to do here, since the ceiling in this place was easily 10'-0", which means it's hard to really see. Unless you're looking, like me.

More dented, dinged, askew tiles in dingy-colored ceiling grid. I'm not sure the grid color is coming through in these photos, but trust me--it wasn't new. And I know it's around a column, and cutting ceiling tiles around a column is hard to do, but seriously? Y'all just renovated the pants off this fine food service establishment, and you couldn't even touch the ceiling? What, is there asbestos up there and you can't pop a tile or you'll have to evacuate the building?

Well, obviously you did pop some tiles, because the green drywall soffit with the track lighting is new. So how about the ceiling over the public food prep area?

Oh no you di-int.

At least these tiles are moisture-resistant scrubbable tiles, but again, we have the discolored ceiling grid couple with askew tiles and a really aged mechanical diffuser. I think the linear things behdin the diffuser might be aged lights, but I couldn't tell. Either way, they looked...old. Old and kinda greasy.

Look, I'm sure this place passes its health department inspection, and I would totally eat here again. The food is good, the service is great, the seating is comfy, the bathrooms are clean, the coffee bar is stocked, and it's a fine establishment overall. But I just want to throttle tenants who decide that they're going to fix everything but the ceiling. And I know this is done because no one notices ceilings except for prostitutes and architects, and yes I know I'm kind of repeating myself by saying "prostitutes" and then "architects." But dammit, if you're going to fix most of it, fix all of it. Ceiling tiles and grid aren't that expensive. They finish the look of a space. Have a bake sale and spend the money on ceilings. We know your bagels are good enough to make the cash for it.


St. Blogwen said...

That ceiling is awful. People may not notice it consciously, but subconsciously, it takes its toll.

I mean, what if something crawls down from behind one of those dirty tiles and gets ya??

Wilderenss Gina said...

You forgot about carpenters. In this 'down' echonomy a girl has to get work where and when she can! "Hey mister. That ceiling needs help. Interested in a little paid-under-the-table skilled labor? No one needs to know but us. Wink wink, nudge nudge."