Thursday, October 25, 2007

CrutchWatch '07: Hijinks With Howie

"Holy shit, what happened?!" Howie's eyes flew open when he saw me round the corner into the kitchen, crutchcrutchcrutching along with Ethel carrying my coffee/water mug. Howie, my prodigal boss for whom I've been unable to work for the past few months due to all my projects being on hold, had been out of the office for a few days and hadn't seen me in my new state of infirmity.

"Twisted my ankle jogging. Chipped the end off my fibula and got a bad sprain in my ankle." I balanced on my left leg while Ethel got me some water.

"Wow," replied Howie. "Can I see your crutches?"

"Sure," I said, and before I could utter another word, he'd flipped them upside-down, climbed up onto them with his feet on the handholds, and proceeded to stilt-walk around the kitchen on my crutches. Incredulous laughter bubbled up in the office as people began realizing what my straight-laced, perfectly-gelled-haired, tie-wearing boss was doing. Ethel couldn't contain her laughter, nor could I. She said, "Up until just now, he really intimidated me. I don't know if I can look at him the same way again!" I just shook my head. Howie's a straight-on guy, but sometimes, you just never know.

This afternoon, I saw the doc for a follow-up, which required an x-ray of my foot. We discovered a lot of bruising and swelling on my instep, leading the doc to believe that I might have had an actual foot break. (It also alternately fascinated me and grossed me out.) After an ungodly amount of waiting, it was revealed that it was just swelling, no breakage, and I would only be needing the "Darth Vader" walking cast, which velcros all around my foot and lower leg. I also have to come back in ten days for yet another follow-up to see how I'm progressing. I still can't really put any weight on it, so I still need the crutches, but I can better use it for balance now. On the upside, I got a prescription for Vicodin...finally. Now all I need is my copy of "Dark Side of the Moon" and my weekend will be complete.


ms. kitty said...

I am trying my darndest to imagine Howie in his nifty going-to-the-office outfit, stiltwalking on your crutches. What a picture!

Glad things are looking up a little bit.

faded said...

Howie stilt walking. I have never a heard of any one using crutches as stilts.

I am thinking of all the possible injuries that Howie could have when he falls over, broken arm, dislocated shoulder, broken ribs, broken ankle, smashed teeth and a bunch of others.

I can rule out a head injury. He had to have one of those before he did the stilt walk.

Miss Kitty said...

Are you going to photograph your broke neggie for us?

Mile High Pixie said...

Guy actually took a photo of my ankle, but it's still on the camera, which he has in Phoenix with him. It'll have to be end of this week. But rest assured I'll gross everyone out with the bruising.