Monday Visual Inspiration: Shopping with Mom in Cherry Creek

The weekend with Mom has been great. We've risen around 7 or 7:30 most mornings, lingered over the paper and a few cups of coffee, then been off to the spa or some other funness. Saturday, we went to Cherry Creek, a tony shopping district in Denver. First, we had 90-minute massages (after which Mom could almost feel her left foot), then we stopped for a chai at Starbucks. Then, it was window shopping and kibbutzing time.

Shopping with Mom is always a treat. Her commentary on contemporary fashion and housewares crack me up. Related dialogue for each photo is below the image.

First stop was schmancy furniture store Room & Board.

Mom: What're those adironidack chairs made of?

Pixie: Um, looks like--

Mom: Looks like plastic.

Pixie: [walking up and tapping/scratching the chairs] Maybe some kind of phenolic or resin--

Mom: This shit is plastic. I know plastic. We have a Wal-Mart, people--I know what plastic looks like.

Next stop was the high-end retail clothing store Max.

Pixie: Could you make that dress?

Mom: Yeah, sure, it's um...

Pixie: Some kind of wool or flannel--

Mom: Christ! It's not even hemmed! It's just...fused!

Pixie: ......wha...?

Mom: Do you know what happens when you don't hem a knit? It unravels!

Pixie: Awfully expensive built-in obsolescence.

[Pixie and Mom walk into the store.]

Pixie: Hey Mom, how about this hemline.

Mom: No.

[walks further into the store]

Salesgirl: Hi, can I help you?

Mom: None of these dresses are hemmed! Just serged!!

Salesgirl: Um...that's, um, the style...[looks around] let me know if you need help. [walks away]

Pixie: [watching her go] She knows she's not going to sell us anything if you know what the word "serge" means and that these clothes aren't hemmed.

Mom: [feels of skin-tight grey dress] Holy shit! This is just super-thin sweatshirt material! That's all! And it's not hemmed either!

Pixie: [looks at tag] And it's $1100.

Mom: Christ, proud of it, aren't they?

Next stop was the windows at Mario di Leone.

Pixie: How about that blouse? I like the neck-thingy.

Mom: I can make that; it's just polished cotton. But she oughta button that shirt all the way and hide her tummy, even if she doesn't have a head.

Another small shop window.

Pixie: You like?

Mom: Not only can I make that, but it's really easy. It's the easiest thing I've seen all day...other than me.

In the Cherry Creek Mall, the Nordstrom's window.

Pixie: Oooh, WANT! How hard is that to make?

Mom: Oh, good lord. All they did is put a drawstring on the side to make the ruching. And I'm sure they want a kidney for it.

Pixie: And you can make it cheaper?

Mom: Sure, for half a pancreas.

Further into Nordstrom's.

Mom: Holy Moses! It's the same color as your Dress From Hell!

Pixie: Oooh, that'd be perfect to go over it!

Mom: [turning the jacket over and looking at the details] Hmm, that's two rows of ruffles and it's double-lined.

Pixie: And it's a St. John's. And they want $1295 for it.

Mom: [snaps a photo and mumbles] Fuck this, let's go to the fabric store.

At the fabric store.

Mom: Yes! It's gauzy, multicolored, and awesome!

Pixie: And when you use it, you don't even have to hem the edges! Just leave them raw!

Mom: $1100 dress, here I come!

Pixie: Ooh, that's pretty!

Mom: And it's see-through! Look!

Pixie: [snaps photo] What would you make with it?

Mom: A blouse for you! And you can wear it to work with just a bra!

Pixie: Raise and promotion, here I come!