The Gnostic Gospels: The Book of Closet, Chapter 2: 1-16

1 On the first day, Pixie arose early and went to a presentation and then to work.

2 And when she returned, she found that Mom had cleaned her kitchen and her microwave, which Pixie never did clean.

3 And she found that Mom did also manage to remove the shelves from the closet, which Pixie could not do.

4 And Pixie asked unto her Mom how did she manage this,

5 And Mom did reply, "With a 9-inch prybar and an X-Acto knife, to cut the layers of gooey paint that did hold the shelves in place.

6 "Wouldst that thou had a proper prybar in this house, Pixie."

7 And Pixie was embarrassed, for just as the cobbler's children have no shoes, the architect's house has few proper construction tools.

8 And Pixie did look up at the closet ceiling and see spackle, and did look bemused.

9 And Mom replied, "Thou hast peeling paint upon thy closet, and I did sand it and spackle it, so that the painting will be easier."

10 And I did sand the walls of this room, and I did sand the sound wall in the bedroom

11 "And did find weird things under the bed when I moved it so I could reach the wall.

12 "Sorry about that."

13 And Mom did put down plastic on the closet floor, and newspaper at the floor along the bedroom wall.

14 And there was much drywall dust. upon the floor and any furnishings that did get in the way, for that is the way of drywall dust.

15 And Mom and Pixie did have a dinner of chicken tortilla soup and Tostitos Scoops.

16 And the sun rose, and the sun set on the first day.