Monday, April 16, 2012

The Gnostic Gospels: The Book of Closet, Chapter 2: 17-28

17 And Pixie had to go to work again, and leave Mom all alone at the HKH.
18 For the rules of Pixie's condo building are strict, that no loud construction work shall take place unless it is between 8:30 am and 4:30 pm on weekdays only.
19 And Mom did cry havoc and let slip the dogs of construction, for she had to attach 1x4s to the walls of Pixie's closet,
20 For Pixie's condo walls are made of some bizarre concrete/plaster mixture, and they would not be able to attach the closet system directly to the wall, but could only do so through furring strips.
21 So Mom did gather her Liquid Nails and masonry screws unto her, and did set about the task.
22 And kittehs did hide from all the noise.

23 And when Pixie returned, she asked of her Mom, "What are the large screws there, in the white painted existing 1x4 upon the wall?"
24 And mom saith unto her, "Behold, for thy Mom notices uneven walls and DIY bullshittery, and used heavy-duty screws and anchors to bring the existing 1x4 against the wall, to ensure that the closet shall hold the weight of thy clothes."
25 And Pixie and Mom did behold the mess in the floor.

26 And Mom did say, "Lo, but I am in need of a margarita or three, for I am beat like a rented mule."
27 And Pixie did take Mom to Benny's for such libations, and they did talk loudly, for Pixie was taking the next day off of work to go to the spa with Mom.
28 And the sun rose, and the sun set on the second day.


Anonymous said...

If you're gonna talk at Bennie's thou must talk LOUDLY. Thou can'st never hear thyself think in that dive. But they make a hellava Margeritta. Verily and Vermouth.

faded said...

The standard note for working drawings in our office was "Beat to fit and paint to match."

Mom has this magic ability.